Knowing your Needs

Living with a serious illness can be discouraging. You will have good days and bad days, just as you did before, and your ability to deal with these changes may vary. On one day, you may have little energy, but on another, your mood and spirit may rebound. During the bad times, try to remember the good moments and remind yourself there can be more good times ahead.

A diagnosis of cancer can leave you feeling sad, depressed, angry, scared, or all of these. These feelings are very human and natural. Don't bottle up your emotions. Letting feelings out will help relatives, friends, and caregivers understand your needs; may relieve some of your sadness, depression, or anger; and even may reduce physical discomfort. For some people, writing about emotions can help, and occasionally you may want to punch a pillow, scream, or have a good, long cry. Go ahead and express your feelings.

If you are feeling angry, it will help both you and others to understand that your anger may not be meant for them. You might even think of ways to make your anger work for you. For example, perhaps you can focus your energy on changing some aspect of your care that displeases you.

For many people, family and close friends are the most important sources of emotional support. Those who are close to you need understanding as much as you do. It may be helpful to try to consider how they feel and what they can and can't do. Your loved ones may need time, just as you do, to adjust to your illness and to their feelings of confusion, shock, helplessness, or anger. Letting family and friends know that you want them close and that you need their support will help them cope with these difficult emotions.

Many people with cancer develop an interest in expressing or trying to resolve spiritual or religious issues. Even if you don't consider yourself a "religious person" or haven't taken part in religious services, you may find comfort in exploring spiritual matters with a friend, family member, or member of the clergy. For some, prayer and/or meditation can be a positive spiritual boost.

How Can I Make My Daily Life More Enjoyable?

• Share your feelings with friends and family.
• Watch funny movies.
• Help someone else.
• Listen to music.
• Try new hobbies and learn new skills.
• Exercise, if you can.
• Do things that interest you.

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